


Perfectly Clean

by sashawiremarryme



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Jupeter Week, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 13:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15842415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashawiremarryme/pseuds/sashawiremarryme
Summary: Peter Nureyev has some complaints about the state of Juno's apartment.Juno insists that living surrounded by piles of garbage is completely acceptable.





	Perfectly Clean

“You really should do something about your apartment.” Peter Nureyev said after nearly tripping over one of the many piles of trash that littered Juno Steel’s apartment.

Juno looked around. “What about it?” He asked, trying to remember if Peter had mentioned anything being wrong with his apartment previously. Nothing came to mind.

“There’s garbage everywhere,” he nudged a different pile to the one he had nearly fallen over with his foot, “how can you live like this?”

“Honestly, you get used to it,” Juno admitted, “I spend most of my time working so I’m not even here that much.” That was true, even when Peter was around Juno found himself working on a case most days. The only difference was, working when Peter was around became more difficult. His visits to the office (combined with all the case files that mysteriously disappeared whenever he was on Mars and only reappeared after he left) made doing his job much more complicated.

“Complacency isn’t an excuse,” Peter told him, “just because you can live surrounded by filth doesn’t mean you should.”

“Just because you—” Juno started to imitate Peter, then he paused, “hold on, isn’t your frame of reference for cleanliness hotel rooms? Do you even know how to clean?”

“I’m a master thief, I know how to clean a room.” Peter scoffed.

“Have you ever cleaned anything that wasn’t crime scene related?” Juno watched as Peter bit his lip, lost in thought.

“I think I picked up a piece of litter… once…” He eventually countered.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Juno muttered, sarcastically, “is there any way I can make it up to you?” He joked.

“You could clean your apartment,” Peter took up Juno’s insincere offer, “that would make me feel better.” He smiled at Juno, it was beautiful, the kind of smile that you would do anything to see again.

“If I do this,” Peter’s eyes lit up as he realised he had won, “will you shut up?”

“Immediately.” He promised.

“Fine,” Juno stood up, “but you’re helping.” Peter scowled at Juno. Juno stared back until Peter’s face softened and his smile returned.

“If you insist.”

Juno wished he hadn’t insisted. Peter wasn’t joking when he said all of the cleaning he had done was crime scene related. Every few seconds, he would have to stop and ask Juno for help with some mundane task. After the third attempt at teaching him to fold laundry, Juno gave up. He thought about what Peter could actually do, then he realised that there was one job that was perfectly suited to Peter’s particular set of skills.

He finished cleaning most of the apartment by himself. By the time he was done, he was so exhausted that he just ordered takeaway for dinner. The last time Peter had cooked, Juno’s apartment was nearly set on fire, he wasn’t about to let him try again. The food arrived and, at Peter’s insistence, they ate the food off of actual plates, something Juno had never done for takeaway (and barely bothered to do when he cooked). He couldn’t blame Peter for requesting this though, the dishes had never looked so clean. Juno couldn’t resist, he held a glass to the light. It was perfectly clean, there weren’t even any fingerprints on them. 

Maybe Peter wasn’t completely useless after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I got about halfway through writing this before I looked around my own room and realised that it was about as messy as I had imagined Juno's apartment.  
> Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it) my girlfriend doesn't live with me and can't bully me into being a reasonable person. Instead she just silently judges me whenever she walks into my room and repeatedly mentions that she would be happy to help me clean it.  
> Love you babe <3


End file.
